Rejoice in Your Suffering

I came across with a passage from the letter of Paul to the Romans (Rom. 5:3). I smiled when I read something about rejoicing in suffering. St. Paul can be amusing sometimes. Reading the passage led me to remember the sexual abuse I experienced from the hands of the Jesuit priest, Fr. Ruben Tanseco. The many times that Fr. Ruben Tanseco, S.J. fondled my genitals led me to emotional suffering as I become an angry person. The many times that Fr. Ruben Tanseco, S.J. put my penis into his mouth and sucked it led me to psychological suffering such that I often feel jittery and disoriented, and depressed. The many times that Fr. Ruben Tanseco, S.J. masturbated my penis until I ejaculate led me to spiritual suffering and the loss of my faith. The suffering caused by my experience of sexual abuse from this Jesuit is unnecessary suffering, a suffering I do not deserve. I find it ridiculous and absurd to think that suffering produces perseverance. The suffering that I am going through as a victim of sexual abuse by a Jesuit cannot be a cause for rejoicing. The suffering that I am going through as a victim of sexual abuse by a Jesuit is a suffering that deserves justice, not an insult and a threat.

2 thoughts on “Rejoice in Your Suffering

  1. My heart aches for you. I have 4 children who are now young adults and I cannot imagine the horror and tragedy that a young person will have to go through in the hands of a physically, verbally, emotionally or sexually abusive person who has or had power over others, especially a child or young person.

    I sometimes imagine how it could have been if any of my children experienced what you’ve been through — and my heart becomes filled with rage. I cry to God and ask “How much longer will people suffer?!” because sadly, it is still happening to this very moment in this wicked world we live in. When I drive at night, I sometimes look at people’s houses that I pass by and wonder, “Is there a child inside who may perhaps be experiencing abuse and needed help?” I wish I was super-woman and rescue all of those children. But I am not.

    So I look forward to divine intervention that someday God will finally fulfill this promise that “Just a little while longer, and the wicked will be no more. You will look at where they were, and they will not be there. But the meek will possess the Earth, and they will find exquisite delight in the abundance of peace.” – Psalm 37:10-11

    Please also hold on to the hope that God gave us in Isaiah 65:17 – “For look! I am creating new heavens and a new earth. And the former things will not be called to mind, nor will they come up into the heart.” So as hard as it is to believe, there will come a time that God will heal all of our broken hearts and will no longer remember the pain that has caused us to suffer throughout our lives.

    You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Even though you still remember this horrible experience, may our Heavenly Father grant you a degree of healing while we wait for our grand future when all the sufferings will be gone.

    In Christian Love,
    Anna (Delaware USA)

    Liked by 2 people

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