Last night I had a hard time going to sleep. Rather strange because I normally sleep early without difficulty. What was striking last night was a flashback of one event. I saw myself in the Rector’s Office of San Jose Seminary. The Rector that time was Fr. Silvino Borres, SJ. He is fondly called Fr. Junjun. Of course I am familiar with the office. I was a seminarian in San Jose Seminary when I was sexually abused by Fr. Ruben Tanseco, SJ. I remember I was asked to come over and see Fr. Junjun. He was to give me a check from the Jesuits. However, there was a twist to that event. I was asked to sign a document and Fr. Junjun asked for my passport for photocopying. So I signed the document and handed him my passport. But I was told I cannot have a copy of the document I signed. Having finished the business in the Rector’s Office, I rode a car and Fr. Junjun was driving. We went to the Bank of Philippine Islands along Katipunan Avenue, fronting Gate 3 of the Ateneo. The check was encashed and the money was deposited to my account in the same bank. I notice that the check was in the name of Fr. Junjun. By the way, the amount is insignificant that I consider it to represent cheap justice. Until now I am still wondering why I cannot have a copy of the document I signed. Until now I am still wondering why the check was in the name of Fr. Junjun, and not my name on it. If the document is a legal document, I should have signed it in the presence of a lawyer. Instead of rejoicing for having money in my bank account, I became puzzled by what can be considered “Ignatian trickery,” if not “Jesuit deceipt.” If that is the case, it was another form of victimization and cover up. It is a wrong that needs to be corrected. I remembered it last night as a flashback. It made me awake for quite a while last night.